It’s ok to not want more
How many times have you been at a networking event, standing there with a coffee that’s either too hot or stone cold, and someone asks, “So, what’s next for the business?”
It sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it?
Except in business, “what’s next?” often comes with a whole suitcase full of assumptions. The assumption that you want to hire. That you want to scale. That you want to create another offer, open another location, increase your revenue target and become a slightly more exhausted version of yourself.
And if you are anything like me, there’s a good chance you have smiled politely and come up with an answer that sounds businessy enough.
“Oh, we’re looking at a few growth opportunities.”
What the heck does that even mean?
Sometimes we say things because we think that is what business owners are supposed to say. We are supposed to want more. We are supposed to have a plan for growth. We are supposed to be aiming for the next level, even when the level we are on is one we worked really hard to reach.
I bought into that thinking for a long time.
I listened to the experts. I hired the business coach. I developed that growth mindset we are all told we need, and I followed the recipe that was supposed to lead to success. Grow the team. Take on more clients. Build the machine. Feed the machine.
And oh my goodness, that machine got hungry.
When more starts feeding the beast
There was a point in my business when growth started to feel like a beast sitting in the corner of the room. It was constantly hungry, and I was constantly looking for something to feed it.
More clients would feed it for a little while. Then it wanted more revenue. More revenue meant more work, and more work meant more people, more responsibility, more pressure and more decisions sitting on my shoulders at 2am.
I told myself I was doing the right thing because that’s what the business world tells us. If you are growing, you are doing well. If you are busy, you are in demand. If you are exhausted, apparently that means you are committed.
Hmmm.
At the time, my ickyometer was going off like mad. You know that feeling when something looks right on paper and feels wrong in your body? That was me. I had this tiny ball of ick sitting in my stomach, and instead of listening to it, I smooshed it down because I thought successful business owners were meant to push through.
Then Covid hit, and I had the conversation with my accountant that changed everything.
I had to make decisions I did not want to make. I had to let people go. I felt like I had failed because I had done all the things I was told a good business owner should do, and there I was, sitting in the middle of all the consequences.
What I can see now, with some distance and a much calmer nervous system, is that I had been building towards a version of success that did not fit me.
It looked impressive from the outside for a while. Inside, it was taking me further away from my purpose.
The pressure to prove yourself
So many women in business are carrying this quiet pressure to prove they are doing enough.
We prove it through how full our calendar is. We prove it through revenue targets, team size, social media visibility and the number of times we can say yes before we fall in a heap. We prove it by explaining why our business is valid, why our choices make sense and why we deserve to be taken seriously.
It is exhausting.
The sneaky part is that this pressure can dress itself up as ambition. It can sound very sensible. It can come from people who genuinely want the best for us, which makes it even harder to question.
- Have you thought about scaling?
- You should turn that into a course.
- You could hire someone for that.
- You need to get yourself out there more.
Sometimes those suggestions are useful. There are times when growth makes sense, and there are women who genuinely want the larger business, the bigger team and the wider reach. If that’s you, good for you. I hope it feels aligned with your purpose, your values and your life, and I will be cheering you on.
The problem starts when we chase more because we are worried that enough makes us look unambitious or unsuccessful in others eyes.
That is the bit I want us to question.
Enough deserves more respect
Enough can be a beautiful thing.
Enough might be a business that pays you properly, serves your clients well and gives you the flexibility to be present in your own life. It might be having enough work to feel stretched without feeling swallowed. It might be choosing a smaller client base because you want deeper relationships and better outcomes.
For some women, enough means keeping the business lean so they can care for their family, protect their health or take school holidays off without needing to apologise. For others, enough means having space to think, create, mentor, walk the dog, have lunch with a friend or sit quietly for half an hour without feeling guilty.
That does not make the business less worthy.
A business can be small and financially stable. It can be quiet and deeply respected. It can be simple, sustainable and meaningful. It can make a difference without requiring you to give up your evenings, weekends and sense of self.
I think we need to get much better at saying, “Actually, this is what I want,” without adding a nervous little explanation afterwards.
Because how often do we know what feels right, then immediately talk ourselves out of it?
Your ickyometer gets a say
The ickyometer is one of the most useful business tools we have, and you won’t find it in a spreadsheet.
It’s that feeling when someone gives you advice and something in your body says, “Nope, that’s not mine.” It’s the little tug when you are about to say yes to a client who does not feel aligned. It’s the heaviness that arrives when you start building an offer because everyone else seems to be doing it.
There are different levels of ick, of course.
Sometimes discomfort means we are trying something new. That is the kind of discomfort that comes with learning, stretching and taking a brave step. Other times, the ick is a sign that we are drifting away from our values, and that is the one we need to pay attention to.
If the thought of growing your business gives you goosebumps of happiness, explore it. If the thought of growing your business makes you feel sick, resentful or trapped, it is worth pausing long enough to ask why.
- What are you hoping more will give you?
- Will more actually give you that?
- Or is there a simpler path that feels more like yours?
You are allowed to choose your own path
Verv Works exists for women who are tired of feeling like they have to keep up, scale up or prove themselves through constant growth.
Because there is another way to do business.
A way built on purpose, values, sustainability and flexibility. A way that gives you permission to stop doubting yourself, own your expertise and create a business that supports the life you actually want to live.
That might mean growing. It might mean simplifying. It might mean staying small on purpose. It might mean changing how you work, who you work with, what you offer or how much space the business is allowed to take up in your life.
You get to define success for yourself.
And yes, that sounds simple when you say it out loud. Actually doing it can feel deeply uncomfortable, because we have been taught to look outside ourselves for the answer. We ask the experts, the coaches, the mentors, the industry leaders and the person on Instagram who seems to have her life very neatly organised.
Advice can be useful. Support matters. Learning from others can save us from some very expensive mistakes.
Still, no one else lives inside your business the way you do. No one else knows your energy, your values, your family, your health, your clients and your quiet little dreams in the same way. You are the mama bear of your business, and you know when your baby bear cub is being raised in a way that feels right.
Sit with what you actually want
So maybe the question is less “what’s next?” and more “what do I want this business to do for me, my clients and my life?”
That is a very different question.
It gives you room to breathe. It takes you away from comparison and brings you back to purpose. It lets you look at your business through your own values instead of someone else’s growth chart.
You might discover that you do want more, which is completely fine. You might discover that you want less, or you might discover that you want the same amount, with better boundaries and fewer things that make your ickyometer scream.
Whatever the answer is, let it be honest and true to you.
You do not have to chase more to prove you are a serious business owner. You do not have to scale to justify your expertise. You do not have to build a business that looks impressive to people who have no idea what matters to you.
It’s ok to not want more and it’s ok to want enough.
It’s certainly ok to stand proud in the business you are building, especially when it finally feels like yours.
Ready to define success your way?
If this has made your ickyometer twitch, it might be time to stop carrying all of this around on your own.
Verv Works workshops are for women in business who are ready to get clear on what success looks like for them, trust what they already know and build a business that feels aligned with their values, capacity and life.
Take a look at the workshops and see what feels like the right fit.
Or, if you would rather have a conversation first, you can get in touch and tell me where you’re at.
You do not have to keep proving yourself through more. You can choose a way of doing business that feels honest, sustainable and yours.
FAQs about pressure to grow your business
Is it ok if I do not want to grow my business?
Yes. You are allowed to build a business around purpose, values, sustainability and flexibility. Growth can be right for some business owners, but success can also mean stability, profit, good clients, strong boundaries and a business that supports your life.
How do I define success in my business?
Start by asking what you want your business to do for you, your clients and your life. Look at your income needs, values, energy, family commitments, health, purpose and the kind of work you want to be known for. Your version of success should feel honest, practical and sustainable.
Does staying small mean I am less ambitious?
No. Staying small can be a clear and strategic choice. It takes discipline to say no to the wrong work, protect your capacity and build a business that serves your clients well without losing yourself in the process. Ambition does not have to mean constant expansion.
